Had a visit today from two young Mormon elders doing their mission work after graduating from high school and before getting married.
Having grown up Methodist, to me an elder is one who has graduated from divinity school after completing college and is ordained into the ministry. An 18-year-old with the title of Elder throws me for a loop.
Maybe it’s just me, but I wish when the Mormons trained elders they would include something that most salesmen know: you’ve gotta qualify your customer. Find out what he knows and wants before starting into your pitch. When two youngsters knock on my door assuming that I’m a spiritual neophyte they’ve already lost my business.
But I’m not nasty to people. I decided to just play with them for a while.
“I grew up Christian,” I said, “but now I practice Taoism.”
“What’s that?” the blond one asked.
“Ancient Chinese.”
He asked for details, and when I explained that it had to do with balance, flow, essential nature, potential, virtue, and learning to not work against The Way Things Work in God’s creation, he gave a response I wasn’t expecting:
“That sounds like what we believe.”
The other elder, the one with dark hair, didn’t know what to do with the conversation and so resorted to his script.
“Do you have a Book of Mormon?” he asked. I think I surprised him with my answer.
“Yes. I also read the Koran. Do you know, all those people who try to make Islam look evil to us never mention that there’s a chapter in the Koran, Mary, that tells of the virgin birth of a child named Jesus?”
The blond kid looked interested. The dark-haired one looked lost.
“Those who tell us so much about Islamic extremists,” I went on, “don’t ever tell us how dangerous Christian extremists are.”
The blond kid started asking more questions about Tao. We talked a bit, and for a fleeting moment it occurred to me that I might convert him. But he regained his composure and started talking about the Mormon church again.
“Uhm,” I told him, “my great-grandfather, who is buried in the same cemetery as Joseph Smith, Jr., was secretary to the president of the Mormon church early last century.” I didn’t tell him that Grandfather Will was excommunicated from the LDS for thinking a little too freely.
“Have you been to Liberty yet?” I asked. This small town on the northeast corner of Kansas City was where Joseph Smith was imprisoned and had his vision of the Golden Tablets, from whence he journeyed to Utah and founded his church.
“Not yet,” said the blond kid with a smile.
“It’s my hometown,” I told him.
“Whoa!” he said softly. “You grew up around…”
“Yep.”
The blond kid Got It. The other was still clueless. As they were walking away the dark-haired kid turned, looked at me, and asked, “Is there anything we can do for you?”
I thought, ‘I’m thirty years older than you. I’ve been through stuff you’ve never dreamed of. You don’t even understand that I’ve done a lot of study about religion.’
“Thank you,” I said to him, “I’m doing fine.”
